Sunday, November 14, 2010

yours to command

I kneel, supplicant before you
my will offered up in quiet acquiescence
awaiting your approval or reproach
the fine line between pleasure and pain
becomes ever sweeter with your control
with every touch, kiss, word
smoldering embers are kindled
tormenting desires awakened
I quiver captured by heat and hunger
bend me to your will you who control all of me as you will
show me what you most desire and I will please
my purpose but to serve
through your dominion I find myself
You, the Master of many
my only, take me.

on bent knees

breathe in
breathe out
calm my mind now
say those magic words
make it go away,
take me to my special place
help me remember the good ol' days
before all this pain
before I felt this strain
take me on a new path
forget about the aftermath
drag me out of the hell I’m in
they say life’s a roller coaster
so where do the ups come in?
I’m headed no where
but determined to get there first
give me life
quench my thirst
I’m becoming everything I hate
I can feel my heart accelerate
my lungs tighten
I curl up into a ball
missing everything I’ve lost
having withdrawals
cant take this way of living
your taking everything I wasn’t giving
is it my turn to rise above
or do I stay in my hole, unloved?
Everything I thought I would be
relentlessly is haunting me
give me the injection
cure my infection
make me numb
even only for a moment
make the voices stop
watch as I drop
fall to my knees
listen to me please
don’t ignore me
no one sees all these things
the hurt
the pain
the shit that I have to do just to maintain
I cant control it any longer
I wish I could be stronger
but I’m breaking down
and you all just watch as I hit the ground
all your degrading words
just play over and over
so mistreated
wish I could live again
have a new beginning
or new end
the minute I entered this place
I was a disgrace
and you wonder why I feel outta place
you cant even look me in the face
am I just another page in your lil book of fuck ups?
I look above
see everyone standing on me
expecting me to hold em up
how strong do you think I am?
you stole everything
I wish you never took
left breathless
and defenseless
everything I’m about to go through
will force me to face everything
I thought I had runaway from
but the truth is
these things are what I’ve become
now a part of me
could have just ripped out my heart
but the infection spread
so now I’m living dead
no cure for my disease
now with no one left to please
I fall to my knees
put my mind to ease
let everything I am blow away in the wind
found peace
once I let the demons in
felt it consume me
always said if you cant beat em
join em
I just couldn’t fight anymore
finally hit the floor
and heavens closed their door
this is fate
and fate ain’t pretty
but hell has never been known for having pity...

Saturday, November 13, 2010

who are you

I walk into the room it gets colder
A weary eye as I look over my shoulder
Slowly turn to face it, fears unwound.
It's steps back, never made a sound.
"Strangely enough, I think I've seen you before"
The room left empty, you were never there.
In perpetual melancholy, amusement is rare.
Two sides to my brain, neither one I can spare.
I got demons in my head
and a troll in my heart
I see you in a new light,
something I thought I could never do.
Weep, in fact, beg.
What you want most is that you can never have.
Absent minded to the point of despair.
Completely blinded, I know you don't care.
Internal monsters
Vanquished to the point of insanity
I know who I may be
but who are you?

Thursday, November 11, 2010

speak in silence

No one hears me, understands me
I speak in silence
hoping that someone will see my words, my message
hoping to find love, it has arrived so divine
I wish for a stronger, better life
filled with everlasting touch
I dream the future, but hold the past
My body is brimmed with so many confusions
Am I really here experiencing fullness?
I must be, the pain is so real
the hurt I feel could never be imagined
but I will pull through into greatness
and destroy whatever faces into me
As I struggle I will fight until the end
Whenever it may come

Sunday, November 7, 2010


    One night, she came to me, And spoke of her desire. I surely agreed, With my passions set on fire. Once I sucked her nipples, She went high & higher. And, on that heavenly night, I quenched her need, But she rekindled my desire.


And the Bringer of Light said…
I have forgotten my own name,
Demon, Misleader, driving me insane,
Taunting tainted fruit not for my tasting,
As in the juices of lust I’m basting.
Believing I’m climbing higher,
All along damning my heart with this fire,
Slowly binding to passions you’re inflicting,
Sensations forbidden, observed once with convicting.
Desire ruling this human form,
Swelling heat in a boiling storm,
Temperature rising, preparing incineration,
Poisonous delight, anticipating penetration.
Fitting we meet as I was upward going,
Your serpent’s tail now showing,
Masquerading, you greet with black deception,
Can I withstand its full erection?
Tortured not knowing, will I ever be the same,
Sanity again to reign?
Transmuted genes from years of disconnection,
Something’s missing in this game called Seduction.
You say for it you’re searching,
While drowning in selfish identity, lurking.
Deceiver, before the fall I saw you here,
Wallowing in this abyss of lies and fear.
I came once looking for your soul to save,
Now captured by tormented dreams, a slave,
Tangled in the embrace of shame,
Only myself to blame.
Am I defeated by my own longing to concede,
Slavery or freedom? Which will it be?
Only I can choose to see past the illusion of sin,
Breaking imaginary chains that hold me in.
Oh, how I fight your treacherous tongue,
Guarding my being, flickering songs unsung,
Plotting to be my Master,
Promising Heaven as I fall even faster,
Saying, “Hell would be to never know your touch.”
Can I change this legacy,
Or “is it just too much,” I’m asking?
Am I to stay here forever basking,
In the dark grasp of degeneracy?

Friday, October 29, 2010


the night is young and lovely
the moon cast his shadow in the ocean floor
the boy sail in the granduer of his little boat
he then starts his journey across the sea

he waves his little hand goodbye
to those people in the seashore
he brought with him grains of hope
and a smile in his face he holds

it was uncertain though what his voyage would be
but what his heart throbs for is to see
what the future holds
he travels alone to follow his destiny

countless days and nights would pass
yet he never cease to row
stormy seas came and hit him with a blow
he just looked up in the sky and closed his eyes
he sets his mind to be still at that time
he was losing hope and yet never failed to trust
that the calmness of the ocean would come to keep him alive

the boy continues to navigate with his boat
exploring the endless possibilities of the unknown

as tommorrow unfolds upon his eyes
he waits for the sun to shine
by then he will see what lies ahead in his journey

he goes on and on rowing on his own
in time he will reach the destination he ought to be
he doesn't know how the voyage would end
but in his heart and mind he continues to mend